Sometimes we lose joy in something we once loved, and that’s okay. It’s taken me such a long time to realise this. I once used to think that I could never quit, because quitting was something that was frowned upon. However, after many years of being told this by general society, I’ve learned that life’s too short to dwell on something you don’t love. Not everyone will love everything, and that’s okay. If you continue with something you don’t love, you’re putting in a lot of time, energy, effort, resources and mental health (the list goes on!) into it when you could be putting all of that into something you do genuinely enjoy.
I found out over the weekend that netball umpiring was just something I didn’t love anymore. It’s been a year since I was able to umpire because of spinal surgery and this weekend was my time getting back into it. But to be honest, I’ve found that after everything… I genuinely do not enjoy it as much as I used to! I really enjoyed the people I met yesterday and the teams I umpired for, but it’s not something I want to pursue. In fact, the weekend made me realise how much I truly loved coaching teams, and that that was something I believe I want to pursue.
I’m not currently playing netball (as you all know by now!), so I think that coaching might be the perfect solution for me. I just didn’t get the same spark from umpiring from when I was younger, but I think that after watching the coaches again I might get that spark from coaching.
At the moment it’s just a personal choice for me. I hate letting people down with something I think I’m ‘quitting’, but I think my priority for staying uninjured has really risen post-surgery. Umpiring involves a lot of running and turning, and I think my priorities have changed. I’m generally fairly exhausted after one game, let alone many, and I just can’t see myself loving it again.
This is really a self-reflection post for me, because I think sometimes we’re afraid to admit things out loud. Quitting is often seen as a form of failure, but sometimes, you just really don’t love something enough to continue. I think that’s what I realised over the weekend, and you know what? I’m happy. As they say – as one door closes, another door opens.
A Long Recovery 